The Thanksgiving Ascendancy
by Princess Shania
Summary: Our favourite seven people celebrate Thanksgiving weekend! Things go wrong, things go right, but it all works out in a very befitting way! Contains Lenny, Shamy and Rostenowitz. I know it's a little early, but wanted to write something more humorous and uplifting than what I've been writing lately. Certain aspects of the holiday may be wrong, but I'll do my best to avoid it! R&R!
1. Chapter 1

**I want you all to know something. I don't celebrate Thanksgiving. It's nothing personal, it's just that in the UK, it's not celebrated. I wish it was, but the point is, until I move to California, I won't be celebrating it because there's nobody to celebrate it with me. So, I'm doing the next best thing. I know it's early, but here it is, a Thanksgiving themed TBBT multi-chapter one-shot. Enjoy!**

_**Leonard and Penny**_

"It's so nice to be on our own for once." Penny sighed, threading her fingers through Leonard's. It was 6:30pm and the two were curled up together on Sheldon's spot, taking advantage of the fact he wasn't there. They had soft jazz playing in the apartment and a unopened bottle of white wine.

"Well, until Raj gets here."

"Thanks for reminding me." she muttered grouchily. She then felt bad. It wasn't Raj's fault. "Sorry. It's just it would be nice if it was just us for the whole weekend."

"I know, but Thanksgiving isn't just a time for lovers. It's also a time for family and friends. And whatever the hell Sheldon and Amy are."

She started laughing at his comment on the Shamy, and the stopped, tugging his arm. "Can you believe he actually asked her to go with him to a hotel?"

"It's for that conference on string theory. He wanted to go, I told him I had plans, so he settled for Amy."

"They're in the same room for a whole night!"

"In separate beds."

"Say whatever you want. This Thanksgiving is provoke something in those two. "

"OK. Hey, Penny?"

"Yeah?"

He gave her a kiss on the temple. "Happy Thanksgiving."

_**Sheldon and Amy**_

"Now, Amy, are you sure you remember those notes?"

"Yes, Sheldon."

"Who brought up the notion of string theory?"

"It was first researched by Werner Heisenberg in 1943."

"Very good. What is the meaning?"

"Sheldon! Do you honestly doubt my intelligence that much? Even Penny knows what it is."

"I apologise. But just to make sure..."

Sighing heavily, she told him what she knew, biting back an 'I told you so' when he deemed her explanantion to be correct.

"Now, what time is the conference?"

"It starts at 8:45pm. You told me that eight times on the train."

"Impressive, Amy! Perhaps my misgivings about having you here were misguided."

"Wonderful. What do we do now? It's only just gone seven."

"Well, you seem fairly educated in string theory, so I see no reason to go over the notes again." Sheldon told her. "What do you suggest?"

Feeling very relieved that she wouldn't have to hear anymore about string theory, she tried to think. "What about dinner out?"

A look of panic flashed across his features. "Ohh, Amy..I'm not sure that would be a good idea."

"Why?" the neurobiologist questioned, feeling as if she was running into a brick wall.

"Because we don't know the restaurants."

"Well, how about we have dinner here? We could order room service."

"Well..." Sheldon thought about this. The hotel they were in _did_ have good reviews. Perhaps this wouldn't be such a bad idea. "Aright."

He was rewarded with a bright smile that caused the sides of his mouth to twitch. Alarmed, he hoped he hadn't already caught an illness from all the strange people he'd been forced to meet.

**_Howard and Bernadette_**

"Are you OK?"

"I can't believe I got forced into this."

"You didn't get _forced_ into anything." Bernadette tried to sooth her husband. "I promised to do anything you asked as long as we got to spend Thanksgiving at my parents' this year."

"They hate me and you know it."

"They do not, OK? They...put up with you willingly."

"I feel so loved."

"Come on, Howie. My brothers and sisters will definitely love you. You and Joey like each other."

Despite wanting to remain negative about the ordeal ahead of him, Howard couldn't help softening. "Joey's kinda cool."

"Yes." Bernadette felt happier now that her Howie seemed less upset about Thanksgiving. She reached out and squeezed his hand. "And my nieces and nephews will be there!"

"Really?"

"Mmm hmmm." She gave him a little smile. "Does that make you happier?"

"Not as happy as the thought of you wearing the Princess Leia bikini makes me."

"I knew you'd want that." She shook her head.

"Bernie?"

"Yeah?"

"I love you. Happy Thanksgiving."

He gave her a kiss on her cheek. She blushed and smiled and Closed her eyes, forgetting she was at the wheel. "Aww, Howie..."

"THE ROAD!"

**O.O What a mood-killer that was for the married couple! Anyhoo, I hope you guys like it and that it ws fun to read. I'll get more chapters up ASAP.**

**Love from Shania. xx**


	2. Chapter 2

_**Leonard and**_ **_Penny_**

"For some reason, the waitress and the physicist weren't very interested in having sex. Instead they were holding onto each other, relaxing until Penny realized something.

"Oh, God."

"What?"

"We're married. Look at us, it's Thanksgiving and we're snuggled up like a pair of hibernating squirrels instead of just going at it."

"That's not really a bad thing. I mean, how many times have we had, just the two of us, to engage in pre-coital cuddling? Y'know, without being interrupted."

"Never."

"Exactly. It's like a whole new level for us. Besides, we'll get there."

"I know." She kissed her boyfriend and nestled into him. "I love you."

"I loved you before I even knew your name, so I win. Hey, you know what would be romantic? And a little crazy?"

"What?" She moved closer to him. She'd learned long ago that 9 times out of 10, his romantic ideas were just that, so she wanted to know what idea he'd just cooked up.

"Going to the roof, looking up at the stars, and maybe..."

"I wouldn't call that idea crazy, but it sounds pretty cool. Have you still got those camping chairs?"

"Yeah. And I've still got my sleeved blanket!"

They weren't drunk, but couldn't stop giggling as they softly ran up the stairs to the roof. A couple of times one would start laughing outright, causing the other to "Shush!" which in turn only caused more laughter.

"Wow!" Penny gasped. Growing up in the rural areas, she'd seen the stars before. A couple of times in Pasadena she'd looked up and managed to see a handful of stars through the burning orange streetlights. Now that they were above the streetlights, she could see more. So much more. There were even constellations she'd never seen before.

"It's a good night." Leonard admitted to her. She turned to him.

"Leonard, this is beautiful. I'm surprised you guys aren't always up here."

"It's nothing you can't find on the inter-" He was interrupted by a firm, yet very pleasant kiss. As he entangled his hands in her long, soft golden locks, he had the feeling that they wouldn't be like hibernating squirrels anymore.

_**Sheldon and Amy**_

"Well, that was rather pleasant." Sheldon announced as he came back into the hotel room.

"It was certainly interesting."

"String theory always is." Sheldon told her, opening the mini fridge. "Beverage?"

"Have they any sodas?"

"Yes. In fact they have _many_ sodas."

"Are there cherry flavoured ones?"

"Uh..Yes."

He tugged one out and handed it to her, before getting one for himself.

"What do you want to do now?"

"It's 10pm. We should be going to bed at 10:30pm, so I'll be following my usual schedule. You can do whatever you want."

His nonchalant response disappointed Amy. Sure, she hadn't expected him to declare his undying love to her, but it would have been nice is he'd wanted to play a game with her or something. He didn't notice her downcast eyes. He finished his beverage and placed it in the trash can. Before he went to the shower, he stopped and looked at her.

"Amy?"

"Yes?"

"I'm glad you're with me."

Amy felt all her disappointment leak out of her. Maybe he wasn't perfect. But he liked her. And that was more than good enough.

**_Howard and Bernadette_**

"That was a close one."

"Sorry, sweetie."

"I won't tell your family."

"Thank you, Howie."

"But if we ever have kids, they are going to hear about it."

"That's fair enough."

As they drew nearer the Rostenkowski residence, Bernadette glanced nervously at Howard's throat.

"What's wrong?"

"I'm not sure you should be wearing that."

'That' was the little Star of David that every man and woman in Howard's family got at his or her bar or bat mitzvah. It was tradition of the Wolowitz family to wear it at certain holidays. Such as Thanksgiving. Bernadette hadn't minded when he put it on before leaving that evening, but now she was beginning to worry.

"I'm not taking this off, Bernie. One of my cousins refused to wear his once and he had a heart attack. He didn't die, but he's never forgotten to wear it since."

"I'm sure that was just a coincidence."

"Bernie, come on. You said they put up with me willingly, so they can put up with David's star willingly too."

"I know. It's just.. they're very.."

"If my mom can survive you wearing your cross, I'm pretty sure your family can survive me wearing this."

"You're right."

"I am?"

She smiled. "Yes. Besides, if anyone gives you trouble, I'll sort it."

"Thanks, honey."

**"Chapter 2" The worst chapter name ever! -_- Anyway I hope you guys liked this! CONSRTUCTIVE CRITICISM IS VERY WELCOME AND ALWAYS WILL BE! **

**Love from Shania. xx**


	3. The Fear Solvation

_**Leonard and**_ **_Penny_**

"This is the best Thanksgiving ever." Penny smiled happily.

"It sure beats the ones I had as a kid. Every year, we'd do reports on the response Thanksgiving had on people. Like the moods they were in, how much they celebrated it..."

"Yeah, well, when I was a kid the adults would all get drunk and we would all get in a huge group fight. Right after my grandpa pulled a live turkey's head off."

"That's horrible."

"No, it wasn't. I used to win most of the fights."

Leonard chuckled and pulled her a little closer. "That's my girl."

"It's kinda a shame that we never really did Thanksgiving y'know...properly. With no animal murder before dinner, all of us getting along, and not typing up reports on it."

"Yeah, well. It could've been worse."

"How?"

"I don't know."

"At least when we get our own family we can do it properly." Penny concluded. She lay her head down, and then she felt Leonard stare at her.

"You really think we could have a family?"

"Don't make a big thing out of it. I'm just saying."

"OK." He kissed her head and then looked up at the stars. "I wonder how the others are getting on with Thanksgiving."

_**Sheldon and Amy**_

Sheldon sat up. He could have sworn he'd heard a frightened cry. He listened as hard as he could and decided he must have dreamt of a noise in his sleep. He lay his head back down and nearly jumped out of his skin as he heard a repeat of that terrified call. He switched on his lamp and looked around and his eyes fell on Amy. She was lying perfectly still with such an expression of terror on her sleeping face, he felt scared too. Then he pulled himself together. He was from the Lone Star State! He could handle this. He got out of bed and walked to Amy. When he got to her side, she started convulsing. This worried him a little, but he remained calm and grabbed her shoulders. Amy opened her eyes.

They startled him. Her eyes had gone so large due to her terror that he was taken aback by the green colour they beheld. He'd never noticed her eyes before and now he was lost in them. It took several moments for her to see him properly.

"Did I wake you?"

"Yes."

"I'm sorry, Sheldon."

"Why? You didn't intend on it."

"Yes, but I regret waking you."

"I don't blame you. Do you often have night terrors?"

"Fairly frequently."

"I see. Are you alright?"

"I'm fine."

She moved towards him for a hug. He lightly patted her shoulder and, without meaning to, started stroking her hair. He didn't even realise he was doing it, but she did.

"You're the best." Amy told him.

"I know." Sheldon mumbled. He then realised what he was doing and took his hand away from her soft, coffee brown tresses. Feeling better now, Amy released Sheldon who took this as a cue to go back to his own bed.

"Good night, Sheldon."

"Sweet dreams."

**_Howard and Bernadette_**

"O' Lord, may we all be thankful for..."

Howard fought the urge to fidget as his father in law continued praying. He'd had prayers at Thanksgiving in his family too, of course, but they were way more upbeat than this. And far less regular. This was the third time in an hour that they'd started praying.

"Thank God." Joey announced when Mr. Rostenkowski finished the prayer, earning a glare from his father.

"Joey!" Bernadette scolded.

"What? Your husband agrees. I have never seen a man look so bored."

"Shh!" Bernadette hissed, glad her father was out of earshot. "It's Thanksgiving, stop trying to cause trouble."

Joey looked highly offended and walked past his sister to go into the garden. That was what Howard was used to! Someone getting pissed off.

"Is he OK?"

"He's not very religious."

"So?"

"My parents are, so he hates visiting them for the holidays."

"Poor guy."

"He'll be OK. Have you seen my sister's new baby?"

"No. Where is he?"

"She is with Joy."

"I see her."

The baby (who was called Katie, he learned) was beautiful. She had big brown eyes and seemed quite content when she was dumped into his arms.

"She's getting so heavy!" Joy told him, laughing.

"She's amazing." Howard replied. Katie suddenly snatched his Star of David. "Hey, sweetie, don't do that.."

"What the heck? Why are you wearing a Jewish thing in a Catholic household?"

Howard was busy trying to get the child to stop pulling on the Star to pay much attention to his reply. "I'm Jewish, it's my family's tradition to.."

Bernadette saw her sister's look of horror and walked over briskly. "Problem?" Howard handed her the baby girl, making a mental note to avoid holding babies while wearing his Star.

"Why is he wearing...?"

"Joy. Let it go."

She handed her younger sister the baby and turned to her husband. "You OK?" she asked, ignoring her sister's pointed glares as she carried her daughter away.

"Yeah..."

She wasn't fooled. Reaching up, she gave him a kiss on his lips and smiled up at him. "Don't worry about Joy."

"Are you sure her name's _Joy_?"

"Howie!" She tried not to laugh, hoping her sister wasn't nearby. "Don't say that."

"Sorry."

She couldn't help smiling as she looked up at him. She found his hand and beamed at him. "Come on, let's go and see where Joey is."

**As usual, I'm currently panicking because I'm worried I insulted someone. I'm sorry if I did! :/ Anyway, I hope you guys enjoyed it and don't hesitate to tell me if there's anything wrong or ungood with this fanfic. **

**Love from Shania. xx**


	4. The Appreciation Analysis

_**Leonard and**_ **_Penny_**

BUZZ! BUZZ! BUZZ!

"If that's Sheldon, we kill him in his sleep." Penny muttered.

Chuckling softly, Leonard picked up his cell. "Hey."

_"Dude, where the hell are you?!"_

Penny sat upright. "Oh, crap! We forgot Raj!"

Unfortunately for Leonard, the Indian heard this and the bespectacled man had to endure a five minute lecture on how could they have forgotten him, was he really that unimportant to them, etc. "Raj, I'm sorry," apologized the experimental physicist, helping up his girlfriend and picking up a chair. "It just slipped our minds." He motioned to Penny to open the door.

Penny pulled. It wouldn't open. Penny pushed. It wouldn't open. She tried twisting the knob. It wouldn't budge. She tried throwing herself against it and it still remained shut.

"Leonard, we have a problem." Penny announced.

"What is it?"

"Some bastard locked the door."

"What? Aw, man... Raj don't hang up!"

Five minutes later, they heard a boisterous knocking. "Hey, buddies!"

"Raj, are the keys still there?"

"Maybe!" came the cheerful reply.

"Raj!" Penny warned.

"Yes, they are." Raj jingled them around for proof.

"Will you unlock the door?"

"I don't know, dude."

"Look, we're sorry we forgot you, OK? Please open the door. It's freezing."

A pause. "What are you doing up here anyway?"

"We were watching the stars together."

"You went to see the stars without me?"

"Raj, you're a star scientist! You spend most your life with the damn stars!" Penny reminded.

"I like the stars! I.."

"Raj, we were up here for...romantic purposes." Leonard told the door.

"Ohh, I see!"

"By the way, he's an astrophysicist, not a 'star scientist'."

"Thank you Leonard." Penny responded monotonously.

"Do you guys...want to spend Thanksgiving, just the two of you?"

"If we say 'yes' you're gonna leave us here, aren't you?" Leonard said.

"No. I'll just go home and be alone for the whole weekend."

"Raj, we don't mind. Thanksgiving isn't just a time for lovers. It's a time for friends and family, and whatever the hell Amy and Sheldon are." Penny explained to the door. There was a moment of silence and then the door creaked open.

Penny tore into the warm building like a wild thing and locked her arms around Raj who responded in a considerably calmer manner. " Thank you, Raj. Happy Thanksgiving."

"Happy Thanksgiving, you guys."

_**Sheldon and Amy**_

"Amy?"

"Yes, Sheldon?"

"Are you awake?"

"Yes, Sheldon."

"I can't sleep."

"Neither can I."

"May I tell you something?"

"Of course you can."

"You have very unusual eyes."

"How? They're eyes. They serve their function as two fleshy objects that grant me sight and that's all they do."

"I meant their colour."

"How is the colour unusual?"

"They're very green."

"Like traffic lights?"

"No. I'm fairly certain eyes that colour are impossible to have. Your eyes are remarkable, though."

"Thank you."

"You know, green eyes are very rare."

"I never knew that."

"Few people do."

"Hmm."

"Amy, are you feeling better?"

"Yes. You were a wonderful help. I'm glad you were there."

"I'm your boyfriend. It's my duty to care for you, no matter how unpleasant it may be."

Amy closed her eyes. She loved him, but it went without saying that tact was not one of his strong points. "Thank you, Sheldon."

"It's alright. Would you mind if we stopped talking? I'm feeling tired now."

"Not at all. 'Night."

_**Howard and Bernadette**_

"You are kidding me!" Joey Rostenkowski shook his head as his big sister and brother in law recanted the whole sorry tale.

"We're not. I don't think that woman likes Jewish people." Howard told him.

"She's a dumbass. She's just like our grandmother. Anybody different to her and she hates them. I feel sorry for little Katie, I really do."

"Same here." Howard agreed.

"And when you think Bernie used to tell me not to spit in her mouth, too.." Joey went on mournfully.

"Because it was gross!" Bernadette reminded him.

"She deserved it."

Bernadette shook her head. "I can't believe you and I come from the same parents." She turned to her husband. "I'm gonna see if Mom needs help with anything. Behave yourselves, boys!"

Once his sister was out of earshot, Joey smiled at Howard mischievously. "What shall we do, Howie?"

"Do whatever you want. I'm not risking pissing her off."

"You didn't want to come either, huh?"

Howard wasn't sure how to answer. "Uhh..."

"Dude. I didn't want to either. The only reason I came was 'cos Bernie asked to. And I wanted to see Mom. And it's kinda fun to piss off Mike when he's going all holy!"

"I like annoying my uncles every Thanksgiving. One of them is a rabbi and I freak him out by pretending to lose my Star of David."

"I used to do that with Mike! I'd pretend to lose my Cross and then I'd be like 'Oh, hey, I found it!'"

"One Thanksgiving, I was like six, and I didn't want Turbriskefil so..."

"What the hell's 'Turbriskefil'?"

"Turkey stuffed with brisket stuffed with gefilte fish."

"Gross."

"Yeah. Ayway, I crept to the oven and was just about to turn the heat down so it wouldn't cook properly and then..."

"Your mom walked in!"

"No, my grandpa did. He looked down at me and I was like 'Oh, crap, he's gonna tell on me!'"

"Did he?"

"No, he said 'Howie, you mustn't touch the oven. You'll burn yourself.' So I stepped away from it and he turned the oven down to like 60 degrees, picked me up and walked out."

Joey guffawed. "I wish my grandfather was like that. He had Alzheimer's."

"I'm sorry."

"It's OK. He was a sweet old dude, but one Thanksgiving, he grabbed the sprouts and started sticking them down his-"

"Joseph!" Mrs. Rostenkowski was standing at the door, open mouthed at the story her son had just been telling. "You promised you wouldn't tell that story about my poor father."

"I'm sorry. But you gotta admit, it was pretty damn funny!"

Upon receiving no laugh from his mother, Joey walked over and planted a kiss on her cheek. "I love you, Mom."

"My son, you're the one who's put all the gray in my hair."

"What? You don't look a day over seventy."

She lightly hit her son's elbow, but was laughing too. "Go inside, boys, the turkey's nearly ready."

**Can't think of anything else to say! :/ Ah, well. Sorry for the mistake there was in the info box. This is NOT a Shenny fanfic, sorry. So, feedback as always is appreciated, but tisn't vital. I'm just happy people are reading tbh! Have a good day, guys!**

**Love from Shania. xx**


	5. The Grateful Determinancy

_**Raj, Leonard and**_ **_Penny_**

"Raj, what are you most grateful for?"

"Being with good friends on Thanksgiving."

"Aww." Penny cooed.

"And this beer. It is _ really_ good." Raj added, holding up the dark brown bottle for evidence.

Trying not to smile, Penny turned to Leonard. "How about you, sweetie?"

"Having you in my life." Leonard answered, feeling a swoop of joy as Penny's green eyes crinkled in happiness. Raj cleared his throat. "And you, Raj, I didn't forget you."

"I was kidding you, dude! Hey, Penny, what are you most grateful for?"

"For all you guys. This sound really cliched, but you are my family. I don't know where I'd be without you." Finishing her sentence she drew her arms around the two males and pulled them towards herself for a hug.

"Penny, how much have you had to drin-?" Raj tried to ask.

"I'm being serious."

"Oh. Well, we've always liked having you in our lives."

"I know. Leonard told me."

She held them against her for several seconds and then abruptly released them and reached for the remote. "Yeuch! Twilight sucks.." she muttered, provoking an outraged and shocked expression from Raj.

**_Sheldon and Amy_**

It was 7:00am. Amy had slept considerably well for the night and was now dreaming that a large bear was shaking her shoulder.

"Amy!"

That was odd. As far as she was aware, bears had no ability or need for speech. The bear shook her again. That was another thing. Even a weak bear was capable of shaking someone more forcefully than that.

"AMY!"

Sheldon pursed his lips as Amy's eyes fluttered into consciousness. "Finally! I was afraid you had a concussion!"

"I dreamed of a bear. Was that you?"

"You didn't knock your head did you?"

"No."

"Oh, good."

"Why did you wake me?"

"I just listened to the forecast. There's going to be heavy snow in 7 hours."

"How is this important? Pasadena is less than two hours away."

"Amy, we have one bathroom between us. In the morning I take exactly 27 minutes and 33 seconds to ensure hygiene. Then it takes me 4 minutes and 21 seconds to dress myself. Then I take 6 minutes and 3 seconds to eat my breakfast. Then it takes me one minutes and nine seconds to relieve myself and wash my hands correctly. Do you see the problem?"

"No."

"OK, Amy. I'm a man. Evolution has made it so I'm more lax about certain things, meaning I take less time with certain tasks. You're a woman."

"What?"

"Look, it takes me 40 minutes and 14 seconds to ready myself to go anywhere. You're a woman, which means you'll be spending at least twice that to wash your hair, dry it, straighten it, put make up on, check your menstrual cycle so you don't get a surprise..."

"Sheldon! Look, I don't take that long to get ready. I take an hour to get ready in the morning."

"You shower, right?"

"Yes, but I don't wash my hair in the morning. I wash it in the evening."

"What? But what's the point in that? You get more germs in your hair from your pillow, why clean your hair before going to sleep?"

"Because there's not enough time in the morning!"

"Oh, Good Lord..I touched your hair last night...oh, God."

All goodwill towards her boyfriend was gone now. She was tired, she had a headache and dammit, her hair was _ not_ "germy"! Amy threw back her duvet and pushed past Sheldon into the bathroom. Less than five seconds later she heard his repetitive knocking.

"WHAT?!" she snarled.

"It occurred to me that it's your time of the month. There are tampons in the bathroom. Make sure you use one!"

_**Howard and Bernadette**_

"That turkey was amazing." Howard told his mother in law.

"Joy made it." Mrs. Rostenkowski smiled, dumping what was left of the sprouts in the garbage disposal.

"..I think I got salmonella..."

"Oh. Wasn't she very nice to you?"

"I can handle it."

She wiped her hands on her apron and put a hand on his arm. "Don't you worry about anybody. There was a time when _our_ people were prejudiced against too."

"I know."

"Hey. You are a part of this family and even though it was a shock to have a Jewish son in law, we've overlooked it."

"I appreciate that. Thank you."

"Howie. We love you as one of our own."

If he hadn't seen her lips moving, he would never have believed it. "_Really_?"

"Yes. Mike won't admit it, he can't say the 'L' word to anyone, but we do. Howard, don't let one member colour your opinion of this family."

"I won't."

She smiled approvingly at him and kissed his cheekbone. "Good. Now go and talk to your brothers and sisters."

"Aright." Something told him that she wanted to snack on the leftover pumpkin pie from the night before. His mom often did that, even when it wasn't Thanksgiving.

"Uh, Ma'am?"

"Hmm?" She had a jug of leftover gravy in her hand. "What is it, sweetheart?"

"I...I love you guys too."

"Aww!"

This was exactly what he hated about telling someone he loved them. Someone always made a noise like a whale. The older woman grabbed him by his shoulder with the jugless* hand and pulled him against her for a thankful embrace. Unfortunately, she forgot the jug in her other hand and used the arm attached to that hand to tighten the hug. Just as Bernadette's nieces, nine year old twins, Jessica and Isobel walked in with Joey behind them.

What the twins saw was their grandmother shrieking and apologizing and their Uncle Howie suckling gravy off his finger and making "Mmm" sounds. Their innocent minds thought of it being nothing more than Nana making a mistake and their uncle getting an early morning treat out of it. Joey saw something far more corrupt to make out of it.

Picking up a plate of leftover mashed potatoes, he yelled "FOOD FIGHT!"

***JUGLESS HAND?! O.o I can't believe that! Well, I'm too lazy to change it, so you're all stuck with it now. **

**D'you think we'll ever see Joey on TBBT? It'd be awesome if we did. I don't know much about Thanksgiving! The internet confuses me because it's got all different info and Wikipedia's crap, so could you drop me a PM so I can learn about it from people who celebrate it? Now, I know someone wanted Stuart in on this. I'll try and fit him in, but I don't know how I'll do it. But I promise I'll try!**

**Love from Shania. xx**


	6. The Argument Beginning

_**Raj, Leonard and**_ **_Penny_**

"Let's play Truth or Dare!" Penny suggested. She and the guys were bored out of their minds. Drinking had lost its previous appeal and even if it hadn't, there was no alcohol in the apartment.

"OK." Leonard agreed. "Whose turn is it first?"

"Mine because it was my idea."

She found an (sadly empty) bottle of beer and placed it on the floor and the three arranged themselves in a circle. She spun the bottle and it landed on Raj.

"Alright, Doctor! Truth or Dare?"

"Um..Truth!"

Penny grinned evilly, making the Indian's heart thump rapidly. What would this woman do to him? "Do you have a secret man-crush on a celebrity and, if you do, who is he?"

"Dude, that's two questions right there!"

"Do you want to play or not?" Leonard smirked.

Raj glared at him. "You are a sadistic little man, Hofstadter..."

"Raj!" Penny called, reminding him of his task.

"OK. Don't laugh! I have a _very_ secret man crush on Robert Pattinson."

"WHAT?!" Penny shrieked. "Gross!"

"Who's he?" Leonard wanted to know.

"He's from those crappy Twilight movies."

"Wait, if he's so gross, how did you know who he was?" Leonard asked.

"Raj bought me the box-set for Christmas." As she finished the sentence Penny remembered Raj, who was looking very hurt.

"..You didn't like them?" Raj asked.

The moment Penny looked into Raj's big, brown sad eyes, she felt terrible. "Aw, no...Sweetie..."

"No, it's fine. It's my turn now." He gave Penny a smile as evil as hers had been and asked, "Truth or Dare?"

"Truth." It was the safer option. If she'd picked Dare, he probably would have made her watch the Twilight movies again or made her post on Facebook that she was Team Edward or something.

"Alright, Penny. Seven weeks ago, Leonard was accused by Sheldon of buying out of date YooHoo! As a result of this terrible crime, he was awarded two strikes, yet he swears he never purchased or placed in the fridge, the offending beverage. Now, what really happened?"

"Penny?"

"Well, um, I had YooHoo! and I needed a place to put it because my fridge had broke. So, I put it in your fridge and forgot about it. I was going to tell, I swear, but then Sheldon went all crazy..."

"You let me take the fall?! Penny, how could you? I had to clean out the entire refrigerator with ear buds _and_ I lost my television rights for the rest of the month."

"I'm sorry!"

"Still, it's not nearly as bad as what Leonard did."

"Raj." Leonard warned. "Don't!"

"What did Leonard do?" Penny asked, hoping for just one piece of info to make her feel like a better person.

"Well, my sister Priya had had her underclothes stolen. Don't ask me who did it, I don't know, but they were gone. Anyhoo, as an attempt to win brownie points, _he_ snuck into your apartment and stole your tighty whities."

"Leonard! I'd expect better from Howard!"

"Well, Raj was the one who broke your laptop!"

"You what? Leonard, this is worse than the time you dropped Raj's phone in your toilet!"

"WHY DO YOU AMERICANS KEEP DAMAGING MY TECHNOLOGY?!" Raj shrieked.

They sat, glaring furiously at each other until Penny got up with a snarl of "KKKHHRRR! She went into Sheldon's bedroom and slammed the door. Leonard then got up and went to his own room, also slamming the door. Raj sighed heavily and leant against the couch. So much for Thanksgiving.

_**Sheldon and Amy**_

"Amy?"

Amy didn't reply. She wasn't really mad anymore, but she was kinda upset that he'd accused her of having unclean hair.

"Is your uterus causing you discomfort?"

"Sheldon, I have to concentrate on my driving. Shush."

"Is it causing you discomfort?"

"No, but you are."

"I'm sorry. How am I causing you discomfort?"

"You accused me of having poor hygiene."

"Amy, I was just giving you helpful advice."

"Sheldon, it was insulting."

"How?"

"How would you like it if I accused you of having unclean hair?"

"I'd laugh. I have perfectly clean hair."

"Ugh!"

Sheldon glanced at her. She had the wheel in a death grip and was not looking at him. She seemed very tense.

"I don't see how it was insulting."

"Fine! Sheldon, you carry yourself like a bipedal stick insect."

"That's very hurtful."

"As is accusing someone of poor personal hygiene."

"I don't follow."

Amy ignored him. He tried to get her attention, but she was hell bent on acting as though he was not there. They listened to the radio for the rest of the trip.

**_Howard and Bernadette_**

Thankfully, the twins had managed to convince their Uncle Joey to give the food fight a miss with the winning argument of, "Grandpa would kill us."

"How do you have Thanksgiving in your family?" Joey asked later on that day. It was 8:39pm, everything had been devoured and the family was watching the football, with the exception of Howard and Joey.

"Well, you know about the Turbriskefil."

"I had nightmares about it last night."

"I've been eating that stuff annually for the past 29 years. Think about how I feel."

"You're a brave man. Anyway, go on!"

"Well, my uncles get drunk. Last year one of them stripteased to the Margarita dance."

"Oh, man! That's nasty."

"My aunt Chlo chases us around with a broomstick for good luck so we have more to be grateful for next Thanksgiving."

"She crazy?"

"A little bit. And my grandparents gather round the piano and sing Hodu Lashem Ki Tov to us."

"Man, that sounds fun. I wish we did that."

Joy turned around and glared at them. "Shh! Have respect for our traditions!"

"Man, this ain't a Catholic tradition. This is the 'family' tradition." Joey snapped.

"What's going on back there?" Mike called, from his seat where he had a beer in one hand and one of his grandchildren sitting on his lap.

"Nothing!" the three chorused. Mike exchanged a look with his wife. He'd been dreading this with Joy and really wished it didn't have to happen right in the middle of the game.

"What do you mean 'family'?" Joy whispered.

"This is more like Hell!"

Joy gasped. "How could you say such a thing?"

"Quite easily. I open my mouth and words come out."

"Hey, guys! Knock it off." Howard whispered

"Go back to Israel!" Joy hissed.

There was a short, shocked silence and then Joey hit his sister on the back of the head. "Don't say that, woman! He wasn't even born in Israel. He's an American, just like us."

"You hit me! Just wait till I tell Kenneth!"

"Oh, I'm so scared!" Joey mocked.

"Sometimes, I wish you weren't my brother!" Joy yelled. She deposited her daughter into Jessica's arms and went out. The television emitted a whistling sound, signifying the end of the game. Nobody moved. There was a very long, awkward silence until Mrs. Rostenkowski got up.

"I'll go and see where she's gone to." she announced and walked the same way her daughter had. Gradually the crowd started to dissipate until it was only Joey, Mr. Rostenkowski, Howard and Bernadette left. Mike picked himself up off his seat.

"I'm going outside." he explained. Bernadette looked at Joey.

"What?"

"Go away!"

"Oh, great!" Joey grumbled. He begrudgingly shuffled away and finally Bernadette had her husband all to herself.

"Are you OK?"

"Yeah. Just wondering, can we move to Israel-?"

"No. Howie, I'm sorry."

"Why?"

"You didn't even want to come this year. And I should've remembered how bad Joy is."

She climbed onto his lap and put her arms around him. "I love you, Rocket Man."

"I love you too, Star Girl." He hugged her tight for several minutes and when he let go he gave her a kiss.

"Will you be able to survive till tomorrow?" she asked

"I'll try. Joy is just gonna have to live with it."

**Hodu Lashem Ki Tov is a real Jewish song. I'm not too sure about whether or not it's a THANKSGIVING song, but it is a Thanksgiving-y song, if that makes any sense. People, tell me. What can I say and what can I not say? Saying "go back to Israel" was bad enough. HELP ME PLEASE!**

**Love from Shania. xx**


	7. The Argumental Finale

_**Raj, Leonard,**_ **_Penny, Sheldon and Amy (and Howie and Bernie, I suppose)_**

Leonard and Penny came shuffling out of their respective bedrooms as they heard the door open and muffled voices came into the apartment. Sheldon blinked at Penny in astonishment.

"Penny, were you just in my room?"

"Yes. These guys are asses."

Sheldon looked at Leonard who was eyeing Penny with resentment. "I don't understand."

"Sheldon." Leonard said in a voice Sheldon found louder than necessary. "Do you remember the out of date YooHoo! ?"

"Vividly. It was one of the most horrifying things I've ever encountered than came out of a fridge."

"Well, I told you I wasn't the one who put it there. And guess what? Penny was the one who put it there!"

"Why would she do that?"

"I don't know."

"Penny, that's nine strikes." Sheldon told the blonde woman firmly.

"What?!" Penny shrieked. "It was an accident and if there's nine strikes, I'll have to take the class, like six times!"

"Three actually. Leonard, I'm so sorry."

"Oh, sure, you'll apologise to Leonard for a very simple mistake. But when it comes to apologising for insulting someone, you don't say a freaking word!" Amy snapped.

"What did Sheldon do?" Raj asked.

"He accused me of having, and I quote, 'germy hair'."

"Sheldon, that's mean!" Raj scolded.

"How is it mean? I was simply advising my girlfriend that it is not the best if you wash your hair and then put your newly cleaned head on a pillow which is home to millions of pathogens, bacteria and possibly dead skin."

"That's not the point!" Raj told him. "You would be upset too if someone said that to you. And she may be menstruating, did you think about that before you opened your mouth?"

"No. Although I did ask after, but she told me in no uncertain words that she wasn't."

"I'm_ right_ here!" Amy yelled. "God, Sheldon, if we talked about you like that when you were in the room, would you be very happy?"

"Yes. Because then I could control what's being said."

"You are impossible!" Amy told him and she pushed past him to go to the bathroom.

Penny sighed heavily. "This Thanksgiving is really starting to suck."

"I know." Leonard agreed. He sat down and looked up at her. "Penny.."

"I'm going to check on Amy." Penny said before Leonard could finish his sentence.

"Leonard?"

"What, Raj?"

"I'm sorry, dude. I feel I've screwed up your Thanksgiving."

"No, you didn't."

Raj looked at him. Leonard relented. "OK, it did screw up a little bit when Penny found out what I gifted to Priya. But it was the heat of the moment. You didn't intend on saying it. Right?"

"Right." Raj answered, nodding.

The phone started ringing. Leonard picked it up. "Hey. Hi, Howard."

_"Can we come over? We're leaving in a couple of minutes."_

"Sure." He paused. "Is there anything wrong?" Wolowitz sounded neutral, but Leonard instinctively knew that something had happened.

_"I'll talk to you later, man. See you."_

"Alright, bye."

_**Howard and Bernadette**_

_(This takes place around 15 minutes before Howard called Leonard)_

"What the hell did you just call me?" he couldn't believe it. He actually couldn't believe what that...being had just called him. Him and his people.

"I called you a..." she said it again.

"You didn't. You did not..."

"What did you just say to my husband?" Bernadette managed to wheeze out.

"Come on, we all know it's true about Jews." Joy defended.

"OK, you know what? My people did _not_ survive countless wars, genocides, random attacks and circumcision just for people like you to say stuff like that!"

He glared into her dark, soulless eyes and went to walk out. Bernadette caught his arm. "Where are you going?"

"I'm getting my stuff and then I'm getting the train back to Pasadena."

"No, you're not getting the train. I'm coming with you."

"You can't go, it's Thanksgiving!" Isobel told her. Bernadette stroked the little girl's soft red hair and turned to her spouse.

"You're my husband. I love you and I'll always support you. Especially against anti-Semitic bitches." Bernadette explained to Howard.

"I love you, Bernie. But are you sure?"

"Of course."

Once the car had been packed up again, Bernadette went inside to say goodbye. Howard called Leonard to ask if they could hang out once they got back. he tried to sound nonchalant, but got the impression that Leonard knew something was wrong. A minute after he'd made arrangements with Leonard, Bernadette came back with Joey in tow.

"Man, I hate that woman." Joey said, mournfully. "I know, she's my sister, but what a c-"

"Joey!" Bernadette warned before her brother could continue. She had a suspicion that several nieces and nephews were watching them, as she could hear a whisper or two. The last thing she wanted was Peter's twins learning words they had no business knowing.

"Sorry." Joey reached down and pulled them both in for a hug. "Look after yourselves, guys."

"We will." they promised.

Too soon they were driving away from the eldest son of the Rostenkowski household. Howard sighed and leant back in his seat . Bernadette reached out and held his hand.

"I'm proud of you, Howie. You could've given up first thing, but you kept plowing through."

"Thanks, honey."

**I don't know what Joy said. I really don't. So you people can use your imaginations! Hope you enjoyed! **

**Love from Shania. xx**


	8. The Love Reoccurrence

_**Raj, Leonard,**_ **_Penny, Sheldon, Amy, Howard and Bernadette_**

The pint sized couple looked at their five bickering friends in ill-concealed astonishment. Bernadette looked questionignly up at Howard who shrugged in answer. She cleared her throat to get her vocal chords ready to get the arguing people's attention.

"HEY! GUYS!"

There was immediate silence. Bernadette looked at all of them in turn, wondering just what had happened while she and Howard had been away.

"What's going on?"

"She-"

"He-"

"They-"

Before long there was loud shouts and accusations flying around again. Bernadette gritted her teeth. This was just like the bad old days when she was looking after her brothers and sisters.

"STOP SHOUTING!" she bellowed, rewarded with silence once more. "Now, Amy, tell me what happened."

Amy was more capable of keeping calm, she knew. She also knew the brunette woman didn't exaggerate nearly as badly as the others did.

"Sheldon's an ass. Penny got Leonard in trouble. Leonard stole Penny's clothing for Priya. Raj is angry with those two because Leonard forgot him and Penny belittled his Christmas gift."

"OK." Bernadette took a deep breath. This was going to suck. "Sit down, guys, please."

The moment everyone was seated comfortably, Bernadette opened her mouth. "First of all, I'm disappointed in all of you for disintegrating like this. Now, what did Sheldon do?"

"He accused me of having unclean hair."

"I did not-" Sheldon started.

"Buh! No interrupting, Sheldon. Continue, Amy."

"He won't apologise."

"OK, I've said this before to someone, " she glanced at her husband, who had the decency to look ashamed of himself. "And I'll say it again. He doesn't know he's being mean because the part of his brain that should know isn't getting the message. As a neurobiologist, I would've thought you'd have known that."

Amy looked at Sheldon, feeling a twinge of shame. She had clean forgotten about his inability to acknowledge his own insults. "I forgot that. Sorry, Sheldon."

"That's alright." He didn't say anything else, despite pointed looks and Penny hissing at him. "What?"

"Sheldon," Bernadette firmly said to him. "Apologise to Amy please."

He was about to say 'no' and argue, but she gave him a look so reminiscent of his mother, that he decided against. "I apologise, Amy. I'll not say it again."

"Thank you."

"Though it was true."

Bernadette fixed her eyes on Leonard this time. "Leonard, no girl is worth stealing your ex-girlfriends' clothes for. It's very weird to say the least and stealing is against the law."

"I know. I don't know what came over me. Sorry, Penny."

Penny leant over and kissed him on the cheek. "I'm still mad at you."

"And what did Penny do?" Bernadette asked the group.

"She put out of date YooHoo! in our fridge." Sheldon explained.

"It wasn't out of date when I had it. And I have nine strikes. Haven't I been punished enough?"

"Why are you complaining? I once put flat soda in his fridge and I got 12 strikes." Howard reminisced, looking at Sheldon in a very offended way.

"Yes, because you didn't ask to put it there."

"And Penny did?"

"No."

"And she only gets nine strikes?"

Bernadette pinched the bridge of her nose, sighing. This was really just great.

"Because she's my neighbour. I don't want to annoy her."

"I'm your _colleague._" Howard snapped. Then he had a change of mind. "Kind of!"

"I don't know what to say to that." Sheldon admitted.

Howard crossed his arms and started tapping his foot. Bernadette began praying internally that Howie wouldn't get upset.

"Oh, Lord." Sheldon muttered. He knew that if he upped the strikes Penny would probably be upset with him. However, if he didn't , Howard would be upset at him. Howard foot stopped tapping.

"Is this because I'm Jewish?" the engineer demanded.

"So that's why you're here!" Leonard exclaimed.

"No! I don't mind that at all." He paused. "Why?"

"It's been a very long couple of days." Howard sighed.

"The reason is not because you're Jewish, I promise."

"What is the reason?"

"Because she's my best friend's girlfriend. I have a duty to not annoy or hit on her. Thus the reason I gave her only nine."

"That's true."

"When I'm done chewing these guys out, you can talk about with them." Bernadette promised. She turned back to Penny.

"Penny, you know Sheldon's terrified of germs and pathogens and viruses. Seeing that the drink was out of date was, to him, the quivalent of an arachnophobe seeing a ginormous spider."

"I know. I'm sorry, Sheldon. And Leonard. You missed that episode of Babylon 5."

"It's OK. My TiVo box records all the episodes, so it's no biggie."

"That's alright, Penny."

"And guys, try not to forget Raj. He's not got family here."

"We're sorry, Raj." Penny told him. Leonard nodded in agreement.

"It's OK, you guys."

"So what happened?" Amy asked Howard.

Seeing her hisbadn's relecutant look, Bernadette put her arm around him. "Say whatever you want, sweetie."

"I love you, Bernie. Well, her sister was a crazy anti-Semitic bitch."

"No way!" Penny said.

"Yup, she said that all Jews are..."

"Dude!" Raj exclaimed, outraged. "She didn't say that!"

"She did and she said it twice. I'm never going back there."

"I wouldn't expect you to." Sheldon replied, gravely. "To bear the brunt of xenophobia isn't very pleasant. I remember the time a group of Mormons came to visit. They never came back and my mother received a very stiff letter from our police department."

"In some ways, your mom's as crazy as you, Shelly." Penny rather snarkingly informed him.

"I am not cra- How many times do I have to tell you, Penny?"

"I wish I could have least been there for my grandparents Thanksgiving singing."

"Oh! Sheldon?" Bernadette called.

"What?"

"Do you have a keyboard?"

"Yes, it's in our closet by there."

Bernadette ran to open it and tugged it out of its box. She located a plug and began setting it up.

"What's going on?"

"Well, I learnt the piano keys and tune needed to play Hodu Lashem Ki Tov. And I remembered the lyrics!" she finished prudly.

"Wow!"

"I know you like this song and it wouldn't have been fair to spring a completely Catholic Thanksgiving on you, so I promised myself that I'd sing it to you. If Joy wasn't there."

"Oh, my God, Bernie!" Howard gasped. "This is amazing of you. Thanks! I love you so much."

"I love you too, bubulah."

She tested the keys, trying to recall the notes and keys and then began softly singing.

_"Hodu LaShem ki tov_

_Hodu LaShem ki tov.."_

"Oh, this is beautiful!" Penny gushed to Leonard. She found her boyfriend's hand and squeezed it tight as she watched her friend serenade her husband.

_"Ki l'olam chasdo._

_Yomru na Yisrael_

_Yomru na Yisrael.."_

"This is rather nice." Sheldon said to Amy. "Makes me remember my dad singing to my mom on New Years Eve."

_"Ki l'olam chasdo._

_Yomru na Veit Aharon_

_Ki l'olam chasdo_

_Hodu lashem ki tov_

_Ki l'olam chasdo."_

Both Penny and Amy noticed that Raj had tears in his eyes. Trying not to smile at how sweetly sensitive he was, they both reached out and clasped one of his hands.

_"Yomru na yirei HaShem_

_Yomru na yirei HaShem_

_Ki l'olam chasdo."_

Once she'd finished her loving song, Howard gave his wife an ecstatic and grateful kiss.

"You're the best, Bernie."

"Happy Thanksgiving!"


End file.
